Headpiece Filled With Straw

Limericks

There Was an Old Man with a Beard -- Edward Lear

By Edward Lear

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared! --
Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard.

Link: [minstrels] There Was an Old Man with a Beard -- Edward Lear.

With parodies:

There was an old man with a beard

By John Clarke

There was an old man with a beard
A funny old man with a beard
He had a big beard
A great big old beard
That amusing old man with a beard

and

There was an old man of St. Bees

By W. S. Gilbert

There was an old man of St. Bees
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp,
When asked "Does it hurt?"
He said "No, it doesn't.
I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet."

 

Waste Land Limericks

[minstrels] Waste Land Limericks , Wendy Cope This poem goes best washed down with the theme poem of this site, The Hollow Men, by TS Eliot.

By Wendy Cope

I

In April one seldom feels cheerful;
Dry stones, sun and dust make me fearful;
Clairvoyantes distress me,
Commuters depress me--
Met Stetson and gave him an earful.

II

She sat on a mighty fine chair,
Sparks flew as she tidied her hair;
She asks many questions,
I make few suggestions--
Bad as Albert and Lil--what a pair!

III

The Thames runs, bones rattle, rats creep;
Tiresias fancies a peep--
A typist is laid,
A record is played--
Wei la la. After this it gets deep.

IV

A Phoenician named Phlebas forgot
About birds and his business--the lot,
Which is no surprise,
Since he'd met his demise
And been left in the ocean to rot.

V

No water. Dry rocks and dry throats,
Then thunder, a shower of quotes
From the Sanskrit and Dante.
Da. Damyata. Shantih.
I hope you'll make sense of the notes.